“God is an illusionist, and everything in nature is a form of misdirection.”
I think it was Einstein who said that. Or maybe Heraclitus. Or, what the hell, me, at about 8:28 am this morning. Doesn’t make it not true.
We spend our lives going “How the hell did You DO that!?” And God just laughs, and says “Now watch carefully…Ha! Sucker! Got you again! Okay, seriously, watch carefully…”
We figured this whole 0-4 thing was misdirection, and that God, or Fate, or the vengeful shade of Buddy Diliberto, or something was going to see to it that the Saints came roaring back out of nowhere, breaking hearts and affecting heads across the length and breadth of this once-great land. But that was the misdirection. (Watch carefully…)
So it’s more than fitting it’s probably inevitable that our nemesis should prove to be the San Francisco Forty-Fucking-Niners. The last time we were good, it was always the 49ers who crowded us away from the top. Why should we be surprised when they show up again in their long-accustomed role? Just like old times.
Sure, they had help. Drew had a bad day. His line had an even worse one. The running game was somewhere on a beer run, apparently. But I’m not going to go all Roddy White here: the 49ers beat us. Like a drum, in fact. That they shouldn’t have is another matter, and a purely speculative one at that. It is what it is, and we are what our record says we are. Which is, out of it. Kaput. Verklempt.
And I’m sorry, but the media once again has it wrong. The storyline coming out of MediaCentral is that the 49ers’ defense is just too good, that not even a high-powered attack like the Saints’ can thrive against them. (Which is why, I guess, they lost to the Vikings and tied the powerhouse Rams.) It’s true that the 49ers’ defense is pretty damn good, maybe the best in the league. But we still scored 21 points on them, on a bad day. We proved it’s possible to move the ball, and feed the scoreboard, on one of the best defenses the league has to offer.
No, the problem is the other way around: we still have no defense. For all the blather you hear about how the defense is coming on, how it’s improving every game, it’s still ranked dead last.
San Francisco’s offense is highly ranked, statistically, but don’t be fooled: that’s an artifact of the defense. When your stop unit is properly stopping, the offense gets more and better chances to rack up yards and points. How many TDs do you think Drew would have thrown if the Saints’ defense had been piling up three-and-outs? That’s right. So you can forget those two pick-sixes which, give them their due, were great plays on the part of the 49ers. So we keep them on the board…because they wouldn’t have mattered if the 49ers’ rudimentary offense had been stopped. Few offensive points, more and better chances for the Saints equals a win.
As it stands now, the Saints are still breathing. They might be able to stand long enough for other teams to fuck up and miss the playoffs instead. If that happens, all we’ve gained is the right to get steamrolled by either Chicago or New York in the first round. Better than nothing, I suppose…but not quite the trophy presentation we envisioned to start the year.
[Note: don't tell Anyone...but I'm trying to be humble and contrite. Maybe He'll get the idea that all this has been some lovely misdirection and bring off the last thing we expect...like THE SAINTS WINNING THE SUPER BOWL. NOPE, NO WAY THAT HAPPENS NOW. UH UH. Okay, now watch carefully...]
metrymanNovember 26, 2012 at 11:10 pm
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Yeah, Niners have always been just a smidge more of a “nemesis” imo, than ATL, even though ATL is still in the division. Guess it was their star power, Montana to Young days, us and the Fowlcons were always at the bottom looking up at them, and the Rams sort of.
Good Topic, Locomotive Breath.
H.P. LovecraftNovember 27, 2012 at 9:47 am
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Awesome photoshop … You need a gallery of all these masterpieces with captions and everything.
PhilistineNovember 27, 2012 at 5:26 pm
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Seconded. I’ve been saying the same thing.
HimselfNovember 27, 2012 at 5:33 pm
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Gosh. *blushes*
HimselfNovember 27, 2012 at 5:34 pm
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Actually, if you guys have any requests, maybe I could accommodate you. I get more out of Photoshop jobs than writing about this season.
I just wish Spags had worked out, because I have a helluva Photoshop job on him, just ready to go. Oh well…
PhilistineNovember 27, 2012 at 5:49 pm
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I still think you’re throwing SpagNOLA under the bus a little too soon. I’m seeing some defensive players that seem to be aging this season – or maybe not adjusting. Others are doing better. I’m going to enjoy the games as best I can this year, try not expect too much (I confess I did expect 10-6, and I don’t think they’ll make that now), and hope that next year will be the year of the Saints’ next SB victory.
HimselfNovember 27, 2012 at 9:41 pm
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It’s not that I’m anti-Spags…it’s just that the context of the photo didn’t work out, so I can’t use it.
PhilistineNovember 27, 2012 at 5:58 pm
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I always assumed that Dave Cariello would give you a gig at CSC in a heartbeat – not that I’m encouraging you to quit this gig.
H.P. LovecraftNovember 27, 2012 at 11:43 pm
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For the weeks you don’t feel like writing a reaction piece after the game, you should photoshop something and allow it to stand on its own as your commentary.
Then, your readers could interpret its meaning and discuss it (or whatever) via the comments section.
A season full of photoshop-only commentary would be enjoyable to follow.
Doc BoudinNovember 28, 2012 at 5:50 pm
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Ooh, and maybe some interpretive dance?
…or not.
PhilistineNovember 28, 2012 at 6:00 pm
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You’re a frightening man.
Doc BoudinNovember 28, 2012 at 6:01 pm
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I scare myself, sometimes.
PhilistineNovember 27, 2012 at 5:43 pm
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I’m not sure we watched the same game. I saw a Saints defense that held the 49ers offense to 17 points, and held an opponent to under 400 yards for the first time this season. True, that long drive didn’t make me happy, and Jabari Greer, our stalwart DE seems to be slipping lately; Vilma seems to have lost the use of his hands in the tackling department. Much as I hated the death-by-a-thousand-cuts GW defense, at least we saw serious hitting – like that which the 49ers laid on the Saints. That said, two pick-sixes determined the outcome of this game; that makes either the Saints offense or the 49ers defense responsible.
Each football game is three little games all tied together. First, it’s Team A’s offense against Team B’s defense. Then, it’s Team A’s defense against Team B’s offense. Finally, it’s the two special teams squaring off. The Saints offense lost the first battle. They mostly won the second battle – or maybe it was a draw. The Saints won the special teams battle. The game was closer-played than the score indicated, but damn if I don’t hate seeing those sorry sons of bitches get the best of our Saints yet again. I can’t disagree with you on that score. I respect the 49ers more than the Falcons. I also hate them more; almost as much as the Cowboys.
HimselfNovember 27, 2012 at 9:49 pm
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I would mostly agree with that assessment, but for one little phrase that I think is wrong to the core. Each football game is three little games woven together. You can’t separate what happens in one aspect of the game from how it affects other aspects. That’s why I say had the defense been better, the offense would have been as well. Two pick-sixes is damned difficult to overcome, but we would have. Just a couple more three-and-outs on the part of the defense could have easily resulted in a 14-point swing (or more), and this game would have gone into the “W” column. And then the defense could have legitimately been heroes, instead of a bunch of anvils tethered to the best offense in the league.
This may have been the offense’s worst game this year; and it may have been the defense’s best. Still, that said, it’s the defense that desperately needs help. Our offense is fine, and our defense is not capable of stepping up when it’s necessary.
I’m dreading Thursday.
Doc BoudinNovember 28, 2012 at 5:56 pm
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I really feel our defense has shown tremendous improvement. However, when you have the worst defense in NFL history, you can improve tremendously and still stink like Satan’s jockstrap.
I’m less worried about Thursday. The Falcons defense is not the 49ers defense, not even close.
HimselfNovember 28, 2012 at 10:15 pm
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But the Falcons’ offense is better than the 49ers’, too. It evens out.
What I’m afraid of is that the Falcons are going to be seething for revenge, and the Saints are going to be seriously bummed out about their chances for the playoffs. A recipe for blowout. Doesn’t mean I won’t watch, but I also looked at your above photo, and you can never not see what you’ve already seen. So yeah, dread.