Daily Special, May 31, 2012
9 Posted on May 31st, 2012 by Himself
New Orleans can rest easy. The Pro Bowl will not be “played” in the Superdome, but will instead return to Oahu, an island synonymous with languid beaches and languider pro football players on the languidest weekend of the year. That’s the kind of publicity you can’t buy, not even with Drew Brees-type money.
And New Orleans can rest easy. The Saints will have to pay Brees now, because their fall-back plan fell back all the way to prone. Kordell Stewart, the original Slash, has officially retired. I know, you feel like going after your wrists with a butter knife, a screwdriver, some pieces of a shattered go-cup, whatever comes to hand, because Stewart was going to save the Saints in their hour of direst peril. Alas, it won’t happen now. We’re still going to have to depend on Chase, until he goes to Dallas.
And that leaves us right back where we were yesterday: what’s up with Drew and Mickey? AngryWhoDat has another guest article at Canal Street Chronicles, doing the heavy lifting by reading the NFL’s collective bargaining agreement so you don’t have to (to me, the CBA is honorary math). His conclusions might not be right; but—and this is the whole point—right now, nobody knows what right is. Not even the NFLPA, which has asked an arbitrator to clarify the issue. The arbitrator’s reply was reportedly, “Let me get back to you on that…I need to talk to Roger first.”
Mike Triplett says it shouldn’t matter. Then he realizes it actually does. “What’s really at stake here is a battle for leverage in these lingering long-term contract negotiations.” Exactly. And, to give him his due, he knew that all along. So did you. Mike just needed to come up with another 3,000 words before deadline, because his paper needs all the inbound links it can get right now. Okay, Mike, here you are.
Let’s see…Andrew Juge wonders if Sedrick Ellis has lived up to expectations. Actually, I do too—because I don’t know what the team itself expected. Warren Sapp? You’d sure think so, based on his draft position. What did Sedrick expect? Millions of dollars and a Super Bowl ring?
On Pat Y’s NFC South update, he links to an article on ThePigskinReport that contends the Saints can only win 4, maybe 5 games with Chase Daniel. That schedule is just too brutal. Yeah, well, that schedule includes eight games in, like, the Superdome, so there’s a good chance of an 8-8 record right there. Pat Y says something “around .500″ is more likely, and I agree: I’ve already said 9-7, and I’m sticking to it (and hoping to Christ I never have to find out who’s right).
And finally, just browsing through sidebars, I see that Paul Kuharsky of ESPN thinks Blaine Gabbert can rebound this year. Yeah, and Pluto can regain its planetary status, but only if it agrees to perform “Fox on the Run” in leopard-skin hot pants. And, while that’s theoretically possible, I don’t see it happening.
On the Jukebox
No, it’s not “Fox on the Run.” It’s not even Sweet. It’s actually kinda bitter. (So why is Louie giggling?)