Daily Special, May 30, 2012
15 Posted on May 30th, 2012 by Himself
“Pay da man” has gone public. Antonio “Tony” Le Mon, a lawyer from Covington, wants you to donate money to help convince Drew Brees to remain in black and gold. Or something.
Le Mon has set up an irrevocable trust called “Drew Brees Fans Step Up Trust Account,” and endowed it with the staggering amount of $500. Plus, he’s got a template site on the interwebs, so you know this is legit. And Drew can do whatever he wants with the money—it’s completely up to him. We trust him that much.
In 1976, Lorne Michaels, producer of Saturday Night Live, offered the Beatles $3,000 to do a reunion concert on his show. He later upped the offer to $3,200—an extra $50 each! Plus, they could do whatever they wanted to with the money—”If you want to give less to Ringo, that’s up to you.” It is believed to have been a gag (although Paul McCartney says he and John nearly went through with it). So now we have to ask: is Le Mon kidding? I mean, after everything else has failed, this is what will sway Drew? Or does someone perhaps want some cheap publicity?
I’m not even going to give the website a link. Better to link to SaintsWin, who explains the math behind Drew’s motivations. I was of the opinion that sitting out a year would be an enormous blow to Drew’s total earning power—but not so, according to SW. And I believe him, too, because he uses math, and my motto regarding math is “better you than me.” Perhaps that’s why SaintsWin is a successful venture capitalist, while I’m just a lowly grease trap technician in a barbecue restaurant. There’s a lesson here, kids: if you want free barbecue, stay away from math.
The following is a guest paragraph written by the channelled spirit of stujo4…
Besides: Drew is about to make a shitpot of money as a vulture capitalist. That’s right: he and his wife are looking for a management partner with experience in the apparel industry, so they can sink a chunk of change into the child labor market in Bangladesh or Indonesia or one of those places where life is cheap and profits are easy. That Drew, he’s such a role model.
We now return you to our regularly-scheduled post…
But what the hell…maybe it won’t matter if Drew sits out a year, because Chase Daniel is looking pretty good so far. And I have a funny feeling that Brees will hold out, and that Daniel will become a hero in relief, because of this:
Before flying to Dallas for a long Memorial Day weekend, Daniel safely parked the team’s Ferrari-like offense at its training facility and handed the keys to acting head coach Joe Vitt.
Dallas!? There’s that word again! Now Jerry Jones is after not only our coach, not only our quarterback, but our backup quarterback as well! And what’s Chase flying to Dallas for, hmmm? Maybe to report to the coordinating committee? Is this all some massive conspiracy?
(See how easy that is?)
On the Jukebox
I know this is supposed to stay New Orleans-themed…but it’s my site, right? And here is what one fan thinks a Saturday Night Live reunion might have sounded like.