Despite how Saints fans may feel about it (and I’m as tired of it as anyone), BountyFarce is not going to go away. In fact, it’s still making news.
Yesterday, Roger the Dodger managed to sidestep the bête noire of the NFL: congressional oversight. After meeting with Sen. Dickhead Durbin (MF-Ill.), Goodell and Durbin announced the creation of a “tip line” for bounties. Now, players can anonymously rat out their opponents, and you can be sure the NFL will take it seriously and conduct a thorough and fair investigation, golly yes, Senator. Thanks for your time. Say hello to Harry for me.
No doubt, Durbin met with Goodell in order to gain cover for his own plan: to propose congressional hearings, not into the misconduct of the NFL, oh no, but into that epidemic of bounties in professional sports. Yeah, that epidemic. You know the one. But Goodell “talked him out of it,” so there will be no hearings for now. Durbin, of course, still gets the publicity, but without all that work. Thanks, Roger. Pleasure as always. Remember: Soldier Field in February. Real football.
And people wonder why things are so fucked up.
As usual lately, only Mike Florio seems to understand the implications of this development.
And now perhaps we know why the league moved so aggressively against the Saints coaches and the players. The NFL knew that it needed to create the impression that swift and decisive action was being taken, even if the evidence on which the effort to punish the players is based possibly contains very real flaws.
Moving forward, it’ll be interesting to see whether the tip line is used to report actual bounty systems, or whether disgruntled players will embellish the facts in order to cause problems. If it’s truly anonymous, there will be no accountability whatsoever for making false charges. And false charges inevitably will be made.
Careful, Mike. Your tinfoil is showing.
I can understand how some of us are giving up. It’s exhausting, having to stand up to petty evil coming from every direction, like a blizzard of chickenshit. Ain’t nobody clean. Be nice to get clean, though. And how do we do that? We ante up and kick ass in the Dome next February, that’s how.
Onward.
Still on BountyFarce, though, of course. It seems more troops are rallying to Anthony Hargrove, who has staked himself out and started his death song. Hargrove, of course, is claiming that’s not his voice on the NFL’s recording of the Saints’ sideline during the NFC championship game, shouting “Pay me my money!” after Favre apparently was knocked out of the game. Mike Triplett says Hargrove is getting a raw deal, again, from the NFL. And former practice squad player Earl Heyman says he was there, he knows who really said it, and it wasn’t Hargrove. Which means the NFL has fucked up yet again. I’m shocked. Shocked.
Joe Vitt has proclaimed his innocence as well. Vitt has been suddenly accused of putting up $5,000 toward messing up Brett Favre. This is an entirely new charge that surfaced when the NFL “transcribed” a handwritten note (presumably from Mike Cerullo) and entered it into the evidence against the players. I guess someone forgot that the new evidence had to match the old evidence, or questions would be raised about the integrity of the NFL’s investigation (but not by Dickhead Durbin). Vitt has offered to either a) take a polygraph, b) sign a sworn statement denying the charge, or c) break all Roger Goodell’s fingers with an aluminum bat. Vitt is planning a raffle at a dollar a ticket. The winner gets to hold Roger down. Afterwards Vitt intends to use the raffle proceeds to buy Facebook and retire.
On the Jukebox
So…tired of BountyFarce? I can ease your pain. Can you show me where it hurts?
David KellyJune 21, 2012 at 8:53 am
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Where do I buy a raffle ticket? I’ll take 1000.
FriarBobJune 21, 2012 at 12:32 pm
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If I had the money to spare, I’d buy 10,000 or more. Especially if I got to throw at least one punch.
The Angry Who DatJune 21, 2012 at 9:18 am
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It just won’t stop. I got halfway home and they called me back to base camp.
Like it or not, the revolution continues.
BewareofDogJune 21, 2012 at 11:43 am
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SaintsW1nJune 21, 2012 at 9:40 am
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Well, I already pried open the casket. Maybe even at your urging, sir.
AcadieJune 21, 2012 at 12:41 pm
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Hey Joe, there’s even more money to be made selling VIP tickets to the event. The rest of us can pay for access to the live video feed. Even if you don’t win the raffle, you can catch Roger enjoying Joe’s gentle attentions in glorious high def and surround sound. Just the thought makes my day special. Maybe we can have it broadcast in the dome on the big screen.
The Angry Who DatJune 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm
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Twitter’s down, and I’m not sure what to do. Thought I’d hang out here for a while. What’s on tap?
HimselfJune 21, 2012 at 4:02 pm
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Hell, that’s up to you. Whaddya want?
David KellyJune 21, 2012 at 4:14 pm
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I’ll have a “my tie,” Coach.
HimselfJune 21, 2012 at 5:14 pm
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Do you remember Coach’s version of “The Saints“?
David KellyJune 21, 2012 at 5:42 pm
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LOL! I remember that clip from the show and it never dawned on me until now that the tune he’s singing with different lyrics is “When the Saints Go Marching In.”
HimselfJune 21, 2012 at 7:33 pm
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Call yourself a musician.