I’m taking the 4th off…y’all just go ahead and continue the conversation as you wish. But I’ll at least drop another dime in the jukebox and play a song appropriate for a 21st century Dependence Day Celebration.
Well, no point in trying to get all cute and thematic this morning. The big news is pretty sad, and I don’t feel like making a joke out of it. Sean Payton has filed for divorce from his wife of 20 years.
I can’t think offhand of another NFL figure who has gone from such a high high to such a desperately low low in so short a period of time. Super Bowl champion; lauded for maybe the gutsiest call in the big game’s history; best-selling author; session drummer. Payton had it all. And now? He’s disgraced, unemployed, and shortly to be homeless. (Well, only until he moves into his bachelor digs, which will still probably dwarf my house. But I wouldn’t trade places with him for that.)
This has been a year from hell. Payton—even if it turns out he really did bring all this misfortune on himself—must feel like Job. But unless he also has the faith of Job, I don’t see him making the kind of comeback Saints fans are hoping for in 2013. I mean, if all this happened to you, would you be the same person?
Maybe he’ll have a fire in the belly to re-prove himself. Or maybe he’ll be angry and bitter and reckless. Maybe he’ll call end-arounds on every fourth-and-short. Or maybe he’ll just be impossible to work with, and drive wedges between himself and the people around him.
Or not. But as this is the lowest point of the offseason, when there’s nothing left to do but speculate irresponsibly, I’m not going to let the rest of the blogosphere pass me by. No, sir. So here’s my irresponsible speculation: Sean Payton will never be the same coach after all this. He may be better, though I don’t see that happening. I rather think he will be more like Bill Parcells in his last coaching incarnation in Dallas: competent, but hardly the same fiery, driven monomaniac he was during his Super Bowl years. Payton may have recapitulated Parcells’ career (even the divorce) at double speed.
In fact, it would not surprise me now if Payton doesn’t come back. He may well feel so burnt-out following all this that he resigns as Saints coach, takes a few years off to golf and play bongoes and generally go to seed, then make a half-speed comeback with some needy team that doesn’t do a proper job of psychological vetting. Then, for a few years, every time there’s a coaching vacancy his name will pop up, but nothing will come of it; and a couple decades from now the NFL Holographic Network will do a show on “The Top Ten Coaching Disappearances,” and Payton will come in at #6.
Onward. Seems there are some folks in the NFL who aren’t too thrilled at Drew Brees’ golden boy status. Well, haters gon hate. I should know, they say that often enough about me. Because I say things like this:
Why in the world would the Atlanta Falcons want to “better showcase Matt Ryan’s skills“? Isn’t that a pretty good description of what happened to them in New York last January—albeit unintentionally? And weren’t they outscored by their own defense? Call me a hater, but I just don’t see this working. So I’m all for it.
And finally, SaintsWin has a timeline of this entire offseason from hell. If there’s anything you forgot about, go take a look and refresh your memory. It’s bound to sell more drinks.
On the Jukebox
This is for you, Sean. Lighten up. Laughter helps.
stujo4July 3, 2012 at 3:37 pm
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Matt Ryan will be a top ten fantasy QB this year. I don’t know how to rank him in reality, other than passing yards, td’s and that QB rating joke but he’ll be much improved here too.
HimselfJuly 3, 2012 at 4:38 pm
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I don’t see it. You and I have gone around and around on this, and I still just don’t see how Matt Ryan develops into an elite quarterback. He hasn’t shown me yet that he’s capable of doing so. I’ve said before I think he can have a Matt Hasselbeck-type of career, but that’s about all.
stujo4July 3, 2012 at 4:56 pm
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Hey, you’re not going ’round and ’round with ME. You’re going ’round and ’round with Rotoworld.com!
“New Falcons OC Dirk Koetter plans to use more of the no-huddle offense in 2012.”
“Coach Mike Smith says that Matt Ryan’s arm strength has improved significantly.”
“Offensive assistant Andrew Weidinger reiterated that the Falcons are changing their identity this season.”
“ESPN’s Ron Jaworski believes Matt Ryan’s need to “become more consistent in a (‘muddied pocket’)” is the only thing preventing him from being a top-10 quarterback.”
Jacquizz Rodgers, 3rd down and blocking back! If I was a Falcons fan, I’d be excited. I’m not, so I’m wary. We all should be, rather than dismissive. It’s easier when it’s time to say “I told you so”.
stujo4July 3, 2012 at 5:00 pm
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Suzjo filed for divorce somewhere around our 20th year. I managed to straighten up and salvage it. We celebrated our 35th yesterday. I hope Beth cuts him some slack like suzjo did for me. Difficult times. He needs to zip up and do the right thing (e.g. eat shit and beg forgiveness).
FrenchieJuly 3, 2012 at 5:19 pm
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Forgiveness….That Suzjo is a good lady.
BewareofDogJuly 3, 2012 at 5:50 pm
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Beg forgiveness for what? According to the petition, he’s filing against her. Maybe she’s the one who needs to zip it.
The grounds for divorce is listed as…
Sounds like he’s tired of her shit.
stujo4July 3, 2012 at 9:53 pm
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Her “shit” being the tired folds between her legs. He likes the young stuff.
BewareofDogJuly 3, 2012 at 10:06 pm
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Damn, Stu…..are you implying that the woman has a Shar-Pei between her legs? Bleech!! No wonder Payton wants a divorce.
stujo4July 3, 2012 at 10:41 pm
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woof
cc58July 4, 2012 at 1:47 pm
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After 25 years my wife threaten to live…
I asked if she needed help packing…
She said she would make me sell everything even if it meant she got nothing…
I said please do me the favor and get me out of debt…
She moved in with her brother…
cc58July 4, 2012 at 1:50 pm
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Damn I didn’t finish…Con’t
She moved in with her brother…
A week later he called and begged me to take her back…
Two weeks later she came back saying she was sorry…
Now I still owe everything I did before and she is killing me with her medicals.
cc58July 4, 2012 at 3:30 pm
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and thast’s threatened to leave not live..ha,ha
AcadieJuly 3, 2012 at 5:40 pm
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As for Payton coming back, when all the shit hits the fan at once, some folks hold on tenaciously to the one thing that makes it all make sense. If Payton is like most NFL coaches, that one thing would be coaching. I think he will be back wih a vengeance.
HimselfJuly 3, 2012 at 5:50 pm
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If we disagree, are you going to file for divorce?
stujo4July 3, 2012 at 9:54 pm
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I’m just going to run around town on you.