Daily Special, July 16, 2012

22

 

 

Now that the Brees signing is done, and we’re still waiting for training camp to start, we’ve entered the silly season.

Over at Canal Street Chronicles, they’re still guzzling the bubbly and laughing hysterically. Last night, the topic of conversation was Whitney Houston’s enis-pay. (Forgive me for the pig Latin, but I DO NOT want to show up in any Google results for that phrase. And no, I’m not giving you a link.)

Silliness of a much greater order of magnitude was shown by Jason Cole of Yahoo. I pointed this out Saturday and smacked Jason around a bit, but then moved on. Later that day, though, Grandmaster Wang utterly and comprehensively demolished him. Most of you, by now, have no doubt read that thermonuclear ass-reaming; if you haven’t, go immediately to Wang’s site and do so, because it is remarkable. Years from now, they’ll still be studying this in graduate-level journalism courses: what happens to a columnist when he grows so lazy, stupid, and self-important he thinks he can get away with anything.

And they should thank us. Seriously, the golden age of journalism wasn’t the twentieth century, and it certainly isn’t now; it was the eighteenth, when the English-speaking world witnessed an explosion in the number of regular newspapers, and the quality of both reportage and commentary was head and shoulders, waist, knees, shins, ankles, and metatarsals above what it is now. We’re talking about men like Daniel Defoe, Jonathan Swift, Samuel Johnson, and Benjamin Franklin—none of whom had or needed a journalism degree (there was no such thing). All they needed was a desire to speak their mind in public, the talent to do so well, and a venue. What they were, was bloggers, but without the web.

The web. Which AngryWhoDat celebrates every chance he gets. Hell, I’m not anti-Internet; I think it gets taken way too seriously from time to time, but it’s what I’m doing now, right? And now that I think of it, maybe I was too harsh on Twitter and social media the last time me and AWD went a round on this subject. I mean, those eighteenth-century scriveners had quite a reputation for holing up in their rooms, living off drippings and crust, coming out only to purchase more ink and paper (and gin), never having any real interaction with the people of their day. And they gave us some unmitigated classics, like “The People’s Ganymede: Being an Inquiry into Certain Vulgar Practices Among the Monied Interests, Along with Some Remarks on Widgeons.” Maybe there’s just more of them now, and they’re living off pizza and beer, coming out only to…well, not coming out. But still, it’s a legitimate lifestyle, if that other one was.

Andrew Brandt, writing on what ESPN is pleased to term a “blog,” provides us with a breakdown of Brees’ contract—and this is good, solid information. At least he doesn’t feel the need to editorialize over every detail, as though he’s smarter than Mickey Loomis and Tom Condon put together. In fact, consider the way he ends his post:

Brees, who was discarded by the Chargers in 2006 and turned down by the Dolphins in free agency that year, now becomes the highest-paid player in the history of football. And no one is arguing that he shouldn’t.

In other words: Mickey was pretty smart to sign Brees in the first place. Smarter than Yahoo in signing Jason Cole.

Another significant article was published by the Los Angeles Times, but as an op-ed…in other words, by non-journalists. (“Kevin Hassett is director of economic policy studies at the American Enterprise Institute, where Stan Veuger is an economist and research fellow. Neither is a Saints fan.”) Turns out that the rate of injury among opponents of the Saints during the “bounty” period was lower than the rest of the league:

The Saints appear to have injured far fewer players over the 2009, 2010 and 2011 seasons. The numbers are striking. From 2009 to 2011, the Saints injured, on average, 3.2 opposing players each game. The rest of the teams in the league caused, on average, 3.8 injuries per game. This difference is highly statistically significant, or in other words, it would hold up in a court of law or a fancy academic journal.

My my. Fancy that. News to me.

And finally, there’s a truly significant point made in Bert Bartlett’s latest blog post at SoulsOfTheSaints. He reminds us that Drew’s contract is nearly ten percent of the worth of the Saints—but he also points out that it would be a signficantly higher percentage of the team’s worth if it hadn’t been for the success the Saints have enjoyed over the past six years. They are now one of the most valuable franchises, in a small market that has gotten smaller since Katrina, for no other reason than the fact that they’re good, that they’re fun to watch. Put out a crap product in a big market (like Los Angeles) and people will ignore it to the point that two franchises abandon the city, and aren’t missed. But give the people a championship, and they’ll flood your vault with money—money enough to keep the dynasty alive. It’s a blueprint for success that other teams would do well to heed.

On the Jukebox

Stu hasn’t been around lately. I hope he shows up today, or he’ll miss this.

Posted by Himself in Daily Specials | 22 comments

22 Comments

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  • FrenchieJuly 16, 2012 at 10:21 am

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    I’m still amaze about the way Loomis managed Brees’ contract to fit nicely into the cap for the first three years.

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  • WangJuly 16, 2012 at 11:50 am

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    You’re too kind, sir. Also, not that you haven’t heard this a million times before, but you BELONG on Twitter. Twitter NEEDS you. Quit being a damn Luddite and take your rightful place among us twit-rats. After all, if it weren’t for Twitter, we’d be on your lawn.

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    • WangJuly 16, 2012 at 11:51 am

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      Also, hands down the best track on that album. Way to nail it.

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    • HimselfJuly 16, 2012 at 12:30 pm

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      It ain’t that I’m a Luddite…it’s just the way my brain is wired. I do fine with English, but I’ve never had any luck mastering another language. Latin, French, German…they just evaporate. And don’t kid yourself, Tweet is a language.

      “@DarrenSproles: Hahahaha RT @DarrenSproles and @TheJimmyGraham cant wait to see y’all on that field http://lockerz.com/s/225000924“That’s hilarious”

      Huh?

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      • FriarBobJuly 16, 2012 at 1:08 pm

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        Don’t every try to learn to program a computer then.

        Or a VCR, for that matter. :)

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        • cc58July 16, 2012 at 1:17 pm

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          I’ve been working with the computer way back when they were floppy disc, and programs were a true challenge. What the fuck does that have to do with twitter?

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          • FriarBobJuly 16, 2012 at 5:23 pm

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            Um… programming language…

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            • cc58July 17, 2012 at 11:43 am

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              MicroTek…a computer company out of Texas in the eighties, told me I couldn’t do what I claimed with their system. When they came in and saw what I did and the results, they wanted me to hand over my programing. Told them OK for the right bucks. Does that make me sound like Drew? (:-D

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      • cc58July 16, 2012 at 1:15 pm

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        Damn…so I’m not the only one…huh?
        And twitter keeps reminding me I have an account. Facebook at least I can follow.

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      • Just Nother DayJuly 16, 2012 at 11:36 pm

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        Kind of like Ebonics for nerds.

        Phonics: “I before E . .”

        Ebonics: “Cept afta C”

        Moronics: “See. What did I tell youse. Y’all can’t learn these people nuthin’ nohow.”

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  • Doc BoudinJuly 16, 2012 at 3:46 pm

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    In my defense, I did not start the Whitney Houston thing. I just gave it class.

    What’s an enis-pay? Besides minimum wage.

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    • Breesus Christ SuperstarJuly 16, 2012 at 5:10 pm

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      I still don’t know if the plural form of penis is penis, penises, or peni. I’m at work and will not be looking it up online. Not to mention what might literally pop-up on screen under that search. Anybody know?

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      • HimselfJuly 16, 2012 at 5:15 pm

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        Johnsons.

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        • Doc BoudinJuly 16, 2012 at 6:53 pm

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          Welcome to Rock Ridge!

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          • HimselfJuly 16, 2012 at 8:47 pm

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            r RRR rr!

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            • Doc BoudinJuly 16, 2012 at 9:59 pm

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              He says, the sheriff is near!

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      • Doc BoudinJuly 16, 2012 at 6:52 pm

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        Apparently, it can be either “penes” or “penises.” Had to look that up in my dicktionary.

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        • Breesus Christ SuperstarJuly 16, 2012 at 6:59 pm

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          Thanks

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      • Just Nother DayJuly 16, 2012 at 11:38 pm

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        Goodell and his boys. (I almost said, “staff”)

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  • Just Nother DayJuly 16, 2012 at 11:31 pm

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    Thanks for the Jukebox link. Wierd song, though:

    This video contains content from EMI, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds.

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  • CrazyforColstonJuly 17, 2012 at 5:30 am

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    You’re a fine writer. It’s why I followed you over here.

    And I am not a Luddite about Twitter either, but I can’t seem to master its special language, either.

    I’m too wordy for one thing, and another I really have trouble following who is saying what to whom.

    And hastags annoy me except when they are funny. Lance Moore had a funny one, or it made me laugh. After welcoming Drew back he hash tagged #that’smyquaterback(in TerellOwen’s voice)

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    • HimselfJuly 17, 2012 at 7:38 am

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      Figuring out who is saying what is my biggest problem. But another problem, for me, is that everyone follows conventions that make no sense.

      But then, I don’t get a lot about the direction the Internet is going. I’m a big believer in appropriate technology, and it seems that most of the movers and shakers are big believers in stupid pet tricks.

      Glad you enjoy the writing, though. Thanks for coming.

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