Daily Special, July 13, 2012

25

 

 

There’s nothing new today. We continue retreating through the same hellish terrain, looking for a safe place to stop, to hole up, to whole up, and disaster continues to press in on us from all sides. The summer soldiers and the sunshine fans have all dropped by the wayside (Roger Goodell is probably bayoneting them), leaving only the faithful to carry on. And carry on we do, hoping against hope for word to come that reinforcements have broken through the ring and we’re no longer surrounded.

For everyone who has come through this offseason from Hell, I hereby confer upon you the Order of the Iron Fleur. Maybe if we make it through alive it will have some pawn value; otherwise, don’t expect anyone else to care. The fact remains, no other fan base has ever been through quite the experiences that we have.

And it’s served to demonstrate something else that before was only postulated, like the Higgs Boson: the gods of fate are a bunch of preverts. I can remember the exact moment the anal rape started, and it brought tears to Vernon Davis’ eyes. Ever since then, Saints fans have been twisting on the divine rod of destiny, while the media cheered and slipped dollar bills into the sacred thong. We’ve put on quite a show; don’t you feel proud? I know I do.

My. It’s still early, and here I’ve already insulted military heroes and rape victims. I must be a Bad Person.

Mike Florio believes our deliverance may be at hand. As Dave Cariello pointed out yesterday (nice catch, Dave…the rest of us have given up reading the puffery), Florio buried this in his obligatory daily article:

There could be reason soon for more widespread optimism.  We’ve caught wind of a looming report from one of the New Orleans media outlets that Brees will sign a long-term deal on Friday.

That’s today. Will Drew break into the Kessel and turn the tide? Or is it just another rumor? Yeah, me too. Slog on.

SaintsNation’s Andrew Juge has an interview with Nate Bussey. How do you keep getting these interviews, Andrew? Is it your guitar prowess? If I learn to be a B- guitarist, can I get interviews with Saints players? Well, that ain’t gonna happen anyway. Sure could use a shave and a hot shower.

SaintsWin is almost asleep on his feet, but he continues marching, dreaming of Sean Payton and how it used to be.

And there’s a rumor that the enemy is running out of ammo. How can they stop Darren Sproles? Matt Bowen says, employ something called the Cover 7. I like the sound of that. If Drew comes back, they’ll need a Cover 12. Come back, Drew. Get us off this prong.

Oh, and Terrell Owens might go to jail. Knew you’d care.

On the Jukebox

The band is still with us. Close it up, there. Keep marching.

Posted by Himself in Daily Specials | 25 comments

25 Comments

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  • FriarBobJuly 13, 2012 at 1:42 pm

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    You’re allowed to joke about something you are yourself. I can make jokes about Krauts all I want since I’m about 9/16ths German. So after Adolf Goodell and his minions working us over all offseason you get a pass for the rape victim bit. A bit harder for the military part tho. However even then there is a way. You could consider the Order of the Iron Fleur to be a knighthood-based order rather than a military honor, and the ruler of any domain has the freedom to establish any chivalric order he or she wants… and since you are the ruler of this blog… yeah, even that we can come up with an excuse for.

    So you’re clean. Make all the bad jokes you want.

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    • HimselfJuly 13, 2012 at 2:01 pm

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      I suppose you’ve heard the good news by now, Bob. Sorry you didn’t make it. We’ll remember you.

      Here, have another tea.

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      • FriarBobJuly 13, 2012 at 3:03 pm

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        Nope I hadn’t. And I’ll take the drink. But the divorce is still permanent. He’s the TEAM’s QB, and I’m glad they have him back. My fandom is still irrevocably tied to the TEAM, not him. I was a fan even back in the Bobby Hebert days, the Dome Patrol days, etc. (I didn’t even know what football was before that point, tho, so I’d be hard-pressed to care less about Archie or the like.) Jim Mora was a decent coach when he was our TEAM’s coach. When he went to the Colts, well I still enjoyed his Playoff Rant, but he was no longer my TEAM’s coach, so he was supremely unimportant. When Sam Mills and Rickey Jackson were part of the Dome Patrol I loved their performance and enjoyed watching them. When Rickey came back afterward I forgave him for his desertion. And I suppose I’m glad he did at least get a ring, he deserved it, and I’m absolutely glad he made the HOF, because he definitely deserved that. But while he was gone he was the enemy. And Sam, well, he’s dead so it doesn’t matter anyway, but he was the enemy while he played for the Punkthers, and ever since he’s kinda in limbo.

        There will come a day when Drew is no longer even the Saints QB. I wouldn’t mind at all if that’s 10+ years off, mind you. But whether it comes in 2 years, 5, 7, or 10 years, it will eventually come. And my fandom is still for the team, not him. It was mostly that way the last six years but it was starting to shade a bit. No more. My fandom has reverted completely and totally to where it belongs, and it will continue to be that way now, in between, and then. Period. And his distortion of the CBA is still a bone of contention that even three super bowl wins in a row can’t erase. Atone for, maybe. Rickey coming back was enough to atone for his brief departure, after all, so atonement for his action IS possible. But erase? No that’s not possible. Done is done and can’t be undone.

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        • Just Nother DayJuly 13, 2012 at 5:03 pm

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          Bob,

          While you were gone Drew called. He wants his warm fuzzies back.

          Hang in there, pal.

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        • HimselfJuly 13, 2012 at 5:53 pm

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          You know, I honestly don’t understand your argument. The CBA is nothing but a negotiated agreement–it’s not like the Ten Commandments or anything. And of course there will be disputes about the meaning of it, and this time the players just happened to win. Okay, one for them. If the owners don’t like it, they can fix it the next time.

          Personally, I don’t think the actual decision is nearly so important as the fact that the players union had somewhere else to go to other than Roger Goodell’s office.

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          • FriarBobJuly 14, 2012 at 4:11 am

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            That one bit (about Adolf) I will agree with you on.

            But while the CBA is not some sort of “Ten Commandments” (hah!), there is a difference between disagreeing on a minor point and deliberately going on a pattern of behavior of being willing to do or say ANYTHING, no matter how ludicrous or asinine, to try to neuter the franchise tag. I’m too tired to type out the whole history right now. But this was just the last straw of a HUGE list of attacks, and the vast majority of them were underhanded backstabs rather than attempts to adjust things the way they should be done (i.e. at the bargaining table).

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  • BewareofDogJuly 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm

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    Well, since all the fair-weather fans seem to be dropping out of the sky (along with those damn frogs) over at CSC now that Brees has signed, I’d figured to hang out where an Iron Fleur recipient can have a peaceful drink without being trampled on by the mob.

    Cutty Sark, please.

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  • Doc BoudinJuly 13, 2012 at 2:42 pm

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    So the news is kinda big today. Can I buy you one, Himself?

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    • HimselfJuly 13, 2012 at 5:38 pm

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      That is the way to celebrate. Thanks.

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  • BewareofDogJuly 13, 2012 at 3:16 pm

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    To all that “just pay the man” nonsense, Mike Florio (as usual these days) has a breakdown of how the contract is structured.

    You can see the work that was involved in which the Saints were able to pay Brees fair-market value without blowing up the team and WITHOUT being on the hook for years to come in a heavily back-loaded deal.

    Nice work, Loomis.

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    • FriarBobJuly 13, 2012 at 3:36 pm

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      Yup. That was well done. Drew still gets a crapload of money (and I’ve never claimed he didn’t deserve it) but the cap numbers, though enormous in 2015 and 2016, are still going to be manageable if current projections on the TV contracts hold up.

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      • BewareofDogJuly 13, 2012 at 3:58 pm

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        Jim Miller (Former Saints VP) had it right back in May. This thing was mostly about “accelerated money” and “voidable years” in the contact. It was NOT about actual annual salary as the idiot talking heads made it out to be. Condon and Brees never had any real leverage to move the Saints in that direction until the arbitrator’s ruling. Once that decision came down, it was a done deal accept for minor details.

        All that pissing and moaning by fans and media. For nothing.

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        • Doc BoudinJuly 13, 2012 at 5:06 pm

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          At least it was a distraction from all the pissing and moaning about Bountygate.

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          • BewareofDogJuly 13, 2012 at 5:27 pm

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            Distraction? Nah…..with Saints fans, pissing and moaning from one topic to the next is more of a seamless transition. And a rite of passage. And a substitute for actual football commentary.

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            • HimselfJuly 13, 2012 at 5:45 pm

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              Repeat after me: “…fucking Saints!”

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              • BewareofDogJuly 13, 2012 at 6:05 pm

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                I’ll save that one for the Tampa Bay game.

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        • Breesus Christ SuperstarJuly 13, 2012 at 5:30 pm

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          You mean BCS said it all along. Guaranteed money was the only issue.
          Drinks all around on me.

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          • HimselfJuly 13, 2012 at 5:48 pm

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            You got it.

            Everybody, raise your glasses, it’s on BCS. A toast: to our little brother Drew, the richest man in town.

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            • Breesus Christ SuperstarJuly 13, 2012 at 7:16 pm

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              Pour one on the ground in memory of our homie, Friarbob.

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            • Just Nother DayJuly 13, 2012 at 7:31 pm

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              Reminds me of Chris Rock’s definitions of “rich” and “wealthy.”

              Drew is RICH.

              The guy who signs his check is WEALTHY!

              Can I get a “Harumph!”

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              • Doc BoudinJuly 14, 2012 at 9:29 pm

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                HARRUMPH!

                Sorry I’m late.

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  • metrymanJuly 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm

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    I thought I was reading about the “Falaise Pocket” or the “Stalingrad Breakout”

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    • HimselfJuly 13, 2012 at 5:50 pm

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      More like Bastogne. And just like that one, in the end we win.

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  • cc58July 13, 2012 at 6:00 pm

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    Drew is signed…5 year 100 mil contract per Mr. Benson




    Wait how did that one slip in, he,hee

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    • Doc BoudinJuly 13, 2012 at 6:25 pm

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      Wait how did that one slip in,

      TWSS

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