Daily Special, July 13, 2012
25 Posted on July 13th, 2012 by Himself
There’s nothing new today. We continue retreating through the same hellish terrain, looking for a safe place to stop, to hole up, to whole up, and disaster continues to press in on us from all sides. The summer soldiers and the sunshine fans have all dropped by the wayside (Roger Goodell is probably bayoneting them), leaving only the faithful to carry on. And carry on we do, hoping against hope for word to come that reinforcements have broken through the ring and we’re no longer surrounded.
For everyone who has come through this offseason from Hell, I hereby confer upon you the Order of the Iron Fleur. Maybe if we make it through alive it will have some pawn value; otherwise, don’t expect anyone else to care. The fact remains, no other fan base has ever been through quite the experiences that we have.
And it’s served to demonstrate something else that before was only postulated, like the Higgs Boson: the gods of fate are a bunch of preverts. I can remember the exact moment the anal rape started, and it brought tears to Vernon Davis’ eyes. Ever since then, Saints fans have been twisting on the divine rod of destiny, while the media cheered and slipped dollar bills into the sacred thong. We’ve put on quite a show; don’t you feel proud? I know I do.
My. It’s still early, and here I’ve already insulted military heroes and rape victims. I must be a Bad Person.
Mike Florio believes our deliverance may be at hand. As Dave Cariello pointed out yesterday (nice catch, Dave…the rest of us have given up reading the puffery), Florio buried this in his obligatory daily article:
There could be reason soon for more widespread optimism. We’ve caught wind of a looming report from one of the New Orleans media outlets that Brees will sign a long-term deal on Friday.
That’s today. Will Drew break into the Kessel and turn the tide? Or is it just another rumor? Yeah, me too. Slog on.
SaintsNation’s Andrew Juge has an interview with Nate Bussey. How do you keep getting these interviews, Andrew? Is it your guitar prowess? If I learn to be a B- guitarist, can I get interviews with Saints players? Well, that ain’t gonna happen anyway. Sure could use a shave and a hot shower.
SaintsWin is almost asleep on his feet, but he continues marching, dreaming of Sean Payton and how it used to be.
And there’s a rumor that the enemy is running out of ammo. How can they stop Darren Sproles? Matt Bowen says, employ something called the Cover 7. I like the sound of that. If Drew comes back, they’ll need a Cover 12. Come back, Drew. Get us off this prong.
Oh, and Terrell Owens might go to jail. Knew you’d care.
On the Jukebox
The band is still with us. Close it up, there. Keep marching.