6

Will Will Play Will?

Quick Out, May 20, 2013

First off: sorry for the title. You try thinking this shit up sometime.

Secondly: it appears that Nakia Hogan’s report of last week that the Saints might be considering moving Will Smith to outside linebacker had some basis after all. But before all you Hogan partisans start howling for apologies, I must point out that it still might not be true, and further that it’s the task of a reporter to verify…and to maintain a skeptical attitude until that verification is made. Something along the lines of, “Both Payton and Loomis have recently stated that Will Smith will be tried out at weakside linebacker; but given that he’s a poor match for the position in physique, skills, and experience, you have to wonder just how serious they are…or if there’s another reason lurking behind the decision.”

Nakia: you can use that if you want.

…read the rest

Posted by Himself in Quick Out | 6 comments

8

Wait, What?

Quick Out, May 17, 2013 [Updated]

This just in from Nakia Hogan over at Nola.com: outside rush linebacker Martez Wilson, the Saints’ own version of Barkevious Mingo, “is being used as the strong side outside linebacker…”

Huh?

Follow along with me here. Yes, that ’backer does sometimes cover the tight end, and it’s important that he be able to cover the tight end. But that ’backer also sometimes gets blocked by the tight end—usually a big guy, and usually a practiced blocker. So the Sam ought to be the bigger and stronger of your outside linebackers.

And that’s Junior Galette, not Martez Wilson.

…read the rest

Posted by Himself in Quick Out | 8 comments

7

Payton to Saints: Put On The Cleats

Quick Out, May 10, 2013

As the offseason progresses, and theory begins to morph into action, the experts are breaking dormancy and starting to creep out of the shadows, scattering their bits of analysis where you can step in them in the morning before you’re fully awake. One issue has to do with the Saints and their run game: seems they want one. At least, Payton wants one, and he’s mandated that it be a lot better this year. The question, though, is why?

First, though, there’s also the question of Chris Ivory. After the drawn-out pantomime dance that finally sent him into exile in New York, people are wondering if the Saints can hold up at running back without Ivory’s contribution of 217 yards. I wish I were the person who invented “child, please,” because then I could respond “child, please” and feel not only indignant but proud. As it is, I can only feel indignant.

…read the rest

Posted by Himself in Quick Out | 7 comments

5

Should the Saints Sign Tebow?

Quick Out, April 29, 2013

The Jets have released Tim Tebow. So, before anyone else can bring up the inevitable question, I’ll ask it myself:

Should the Saints sign him?

And I answer it thus: “No.” Make that “Hell no.” But not for the reason you may think.

I’ve got nothing personal against Tebow. His religion doesn’t bother me at all (since, with certain doctrinal tweaks—some the size of a Buick—I share it). Nor does his inability to perform as an NFL quarterback should. If Tebow can’t be quarterback, make him a tight end. A fullback. A middle linebacker, for Chr— um, for gosh sake. The guy can play. He could probably play any position on the field, other than quarterback. I’m sure some smart coach can find a way to plug him in and make it work.

…read the rest

Posted by Himself in Quick Out | 5 comments

19

Are We Done Yet?

Quick Out, April 27, 2013

I don’t know about you, but I’m rather exhausted. Elated, but exhausted: watching the third day of the draft is almost like watching train wrecks through a window while you sit at a table with foreigners. They prattle and babble and you keep trying to interrupt: “But…look! It’s a train wreck! See? No, behind you!” Then they break for a commercial.

There’s one good aspect of this, though, as I touched on yesterday: nobody is talking about the Saints. They endlessly discuss the Jets; they touch on the 49ers and the Cowboys and on Mant’i Teo, but the Saints seem to be flying as far below radar as is humanly possible. I like that; it reminds me of 2009.

Meanwhile, unless they do something freaky like trading away next year’s six for this year’s seven (as they did with Adrian Arrington), the Saints are done. And done pretty dang good, too. I try to be upbeat every year; that’s pretty much the point of getting wrapped up in the draft, after all. Everyone, this time of year, gets to hope. …read the rest

Posted by Himself in Quick Out, The Draft | 19 comments

51

Did We Screw Up?

Quick Out, April 26, 2013

There’s some second-guessing out there over the Saints’ pick of Kenny Vaccaro. Pat Y, for instance, wonders why the Saints didn’t choose a pass rusher instead.

“Good defense starts with the front seven and I have to wonder if the Saints would have been better off going with a pass-rusher,” Pat writes. Well, in the interest of a well-informed public, I shall attempt to explain—again—just exactly why Mickey, Sean, and Rob chose a safety instead.

It’s because, mon petit con, the Saints believe they have the right personnel already in house.

While it’s perfectly true that both Martez Wilson and Victor Butler—whom I believe will be the eventual starters on the outside—have shown more promise than productivity in the NFL, players like Jarvis Jones and Bjoern Werner (considering that they’ve never played a down in an NFL uniform) are nothing but promise. …read the rest

Posted by Himself in Quick Out, The Draft | 51 comments

7

Beginning the Kenny Vaccaro Era

Quick Out, April 26, 2013

My condolences. Everyone who was aboard the Barkevious Mingo bandwagon is in mourning this morning, or hung over, or probably both. But it’s not like it was going to happen, anyway: Mingo was already gone by the time the Saints’ pick came around. Mickey didn’t blow it, unless you seriously think trading up was a viable option, in which case you win a free pass to Ditka’s. (Just tell them I sent you. It’s all arranged.)

Kenny Vaccaro was a good pick. He’s a top athlete, the best of his position in this class, and fills a position of desperate need. We might have the guys we need both on the line and in the linebacking corps; or we might be able to pick up those guys—serviceable guys, at least—in later rounds. But plugging the gaping hole in the dike of last resort was something that needed to be done stat. That’s doctor talk: it means right fucking now.

…read the rest

Posted by Himself in Quick Out, The Draft | 7 comments

9

Falcons To Swing For The Fence?

Quick Out, April 17, 2013

Pat Y over at Yahoo reports that Peter King reports that the Falcons might be interested in trading up from 30. This is something that Pat himself reported earlier, so I guess he’s taking King’s report as some sort of confirmation…or validation. Whatever. And, of course, it might be true.

But it won’t matter, because Atlanta has shot their bolt. They had their chance last year (just as we had our chance in 2011), and blew it. Against San Francisco (just as we…).

I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but the Falcons have been probably the NFL’s luckiest team over the Mike Smith era. Yes, the Saints were lucky, too, in 2009: tremendously lucky. And good. Really, really good. They led the league in total offense. They led the league in total points scored. They were second in net points. They won by an average score of 32-21. And while their defense wasn’t great, it was good enough, and outstanding in some categories such as takeaways and red zone scoring. The Saints went 13-3 that year and won the Super Bowl.

Last year the Falcons went 13-3, and they did it by leading in nothing at all. …read the rest

Posted by Himself in 2013 Draft, Quick Out | 9 comments

1

Beneath the Valley of Mock Draft

Draft fever: highly infectious. Characterized by impaired cognition, and restlessness that at times approaches frenzy. Also extreme thirst, but I have that covered.

So you enjoyed the last mock, did you? No thanks are necessary, I know you did. But that draft was so…last weekend. I have a brand new one, and this one is guaranteed to be even less plausible.

Just as the last one was predicated on a trade, so is this one. But in our new scenario, Chris Ivory is still in black and gold (which means you get a ring this year, Chris, unless you fuck up and get cut). What happens is that Jim Harbaugh, in the lightness of his heart, thinking his team is the finest in the league already and he might as well swing for the fences and draft Sure Things, decides to trade up in the first to select Xjdhiso Umnsb73y! (Just exactly who isn’t important…it’s the attitude that makes a San Francisco trade-up just the tiniest bit believable.)

…read the rest

Posted by Himself in 2013 Draft, Silly Shit | 1 comment

21

“I’ve Got A Fever…”

“…and the only prescription is Kenny Vaccaro.”

I have finally succumbed to draft fever. One of the major symptoms is the creation of mock drafts (so named for the reaction of readers); and I’ve just put together my first one this year. Just a Saints’ draft, mind; but that’s enough. I’m well and truly doomed now. Still, this one has a bit of a difference: it assumes that Chris Ivory is wearing green and white up in New York.

You may have heard that the Jets are interested in Ivory. He’s met with them, and according the New York Daily News they’re serious about adding him to their roster, now thin at running back. But they’re not second-round serious: rather than sign him to an offer sheet, which would require them to send the Saints the 39th pick in the draft, they want to trade for him. That would save them money on the contract, and also save a more valuable draft choice for their own team, and it’s completely reasonable. It’s also completely reasonable for Mickey to say, “You want him, but you don’t want to ship us your second-rounder? Fine: third- and fifth-rounders, then. Take it or leave it.”

…read the rest

Posted by Himself in 2013 Draft, Silly Shit | 21 comments

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