goodbye_full

Goodbye To All That

This is my last post here, because I’m done with the NFL. So let’s get one thing straight from the beginning: this is not a response to the Saints’ loss at Seattle. Actually, I had been planning something like this for quite a long time, to be posted after the last game of the season—whatever that game was, however it ended. This is all about the damnable behavior of the so-called men behind the current NFL.

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Featured Posts

hell

Carolina In My Mind

And they were cast into the fiery pit, where the Saints winneth not, neither do the Falcons or the Bucs. For everyone shall be salted with fire...except, of course, for the fucking Panthers.

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hitler

Downfall

The Saints couldn't run. They couldn't pass. They couldn't blitz. All they could do well is punt. The following men will remain in the room: Carmichael, Ryan, Brees, and Lofton...

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riseup

Rise Give Up

It was hard to tell from the Saints' game Thursday exactly what to think about them. But the lesson we learned about the Atlanta Falcons was as clear as could be: they are who we thought they were.

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On The House

inigo

Prepare To Die

Amid all the hoopla and celebration centering on the Saints’ offense and its record-setting performance against the Cowboys, the real story is getting lost: Rob Ryan’s defense had its official coming out party, and they killed.

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Posted in 2013 Season, Game Day | 12 comments »

 
ozymandias

Ozymandias?

Nine weeks ago, Sean Payton was going to be the Saints’ savior. Today, he’s the reason the season is falling apart before our eyes. How the hell did that happen? Or did it?

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Posted in 2013 Season, Game Day | 14 comments »

 
office

Just Another Day At The Office

Because I live deep in enemy territory (North Carolina), I don’t always get to watch the Saints games as they happen. But watching them after you already know what’s going to happen can sometimes be instructive: it helps cut through the nonsense that tends to float to the surface afterwards.

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Posted in 2013 Season, Game Day | 10 comments »

 
cash

Backstage at the Intermission

So. Sean Payton broke a string on the sixth song. Big deal: the concert ain’t perfect, but it’s also not over by half yet. But we’ve seen enough of it so far to realize that the theme of the tour is pretty obvious.

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Posted in 2013 Season, Game Day | 7 comments »

 
carina

The Emerging New Consciousness

In the wake of the Saints’ dismantling of the Miami Dolphins, amid the euphoria of starting 4-0 and the sweet, sweet schadenfreude of seeing the Falcons implode all over the rug, a brand new meme has emerged. It’s this: who the hell needs a running game, anyway?

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Posted in 2013 Season, Game Day | 7 comments »

 
sack

The Ones Who Knock

The Saints defense has completed a stunning transformation, from feckless to fearless, and they did it all in less than a quarter of a season. And nobody saw this coming! Well…maybe not nobody.

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Posted in 2013 Season, Game Day | 5 comments »

 
ingram

The People Vs. Mark Ingram

Oyez, oyez, oyez. All those having business before this honorable court, draw near and ye shall be hoid. As soon as we finish dealing with the Mark Ingram case. Is he a bust? Is he under-, over-, or mis-used? Or is he being framed?

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Posted in 2013 Season, Ingramania | 6 comments »

 
butch

“Who Are Those Guys?”

After two games, two wins, one satisfying, the other excruciating, Saints fans everywhere are wondering what to make of this team. Are they really as good as they look? Are they really as bad as they look? And have the “real” Saints even shown up yet? If you look back on Sean Payton’s tenure as head coach, it seems as though each new season, the team telegraphs right from the start what sort of team it will be. My guess, from the vantage point of 2 games in, says it’s 2010 all over.

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Posted in 2013 Season, Panic | 3 comments »

 
destinee

A Date With Destinee

Meet Destinee. “She” likes to haunt the Quarter, trolling for the unwary. A few beers too many and you could get a weird kind of lucky, playing the home version of The Crying Game. They say a tie is like kissing your sister. If that’s true, then going 2-0 with a road win against a division rival is like getting laid on the first date. And winning the way the Saints did yesterday was like a date with Destinee. The good news is, you got laid. The bad news is, everything about it.

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Posted in Game Day, Panic | 13 comments »

 
sean_conan

The Lamentation of Their Women

There are few things in this world better than watching the Saints put a righteous beatdown on rebels and heretics, but it’s an order of magnitude better when the victims are the Falcons and their several dozen fans. That it was the defense that won the game—”the worst defense in the entire known history of Today’s NFL!”—makes it even more sweet. If it weren’t for the boohooing of the local Panthers fans, who also watched their inept squad get throttled, I might have been able to hear the anguish in Atlanta from here.

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Posted in Game Day, Sheer Awesomeness | 4 comments »

 
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